Label Maker: Real

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I can’t be anything other than what I am. I don’t wear “fake.” I’m not the type of girl that will smile and pretend to be your BFF and then tell everyone what a terrible person you are. It’s just not in me.

There’s several levels to this personality trait. I’m not a social person, but I don’t view being sociable as counter-intuitive. It’s good etiquette. Therefore, I normally behave as one ought. I’m helpful and courteous by default, even if I don’t like you. Because, ultimately, you’re a human and you deserve that kindness.

Where this largely comes into play is after a relationship, a bond, or even trust is broken. The husband tells me that I hold grudges, but honestly I simply agree with Mr. Darcy, “My good opinion once lost is lost for ever.”
Life is too short, and my energy is too precious, to spend it on people that have shown their true personalities. It’s not that I’m unforgiving; I’ve just become wary of insincerity and weary of the drama.

Another way this manifests is through my interactions with others. I have what I call a Reflective Personality, meaning you get what you give. This is a latent personality quirk. Without trying, I treat you exactly as you treat me. I can’t fake it. It just is.

The final way, and likely most relevant to you, readers, is through my creativity. Ultimately, if I’m not feeling it, you’re not getting it. Which is why I will sometimes go dark on this blog. I may disappear. I may not post for weeks. Ii just can’t share something that is forced or feels less than genuine.

So, I’m real. As Popeye would put it, “I yam what I yam.” What makes you real?

Personal Archive: Allan and Anna

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I wrote this after being inspired by one of my favorite poems. It’s basically a re-imagination of the original work. Warning: it’s pretty dark… Let’s see if you can guess the source material:

Allan and Anna

The waves swept over the sandy towers. Allan watched as the salty foam melted the temporary architecture. Suddenly a giggle broke out in the silence, melodious and eerie. Allan smiled as he gazed at the source of the sound, Anna danced merrily as the kingdom retired into the sea. He loved this girl. There was no reason or thought behind it. It simply was. Love.
The words spoken to him came back to Allan in this moment. “Allan, you don’t understand… Anna is… different. She is not like other girls.”

“I know! That’s what I love about her. She’s so special.”

“Allan, I’m not even sure she knows what ‘love’ is.”
“You just don’t understand. Our love is beyond what other people perceive as love!”
“Allan, I just don’t want to see you hurt! Listen–”
“No! I’m done listening! Anna is mine, and I am hers! There is nothing else!”
Anna’s giggling brought Allan back to the present. The delicate fabric of her dress floated around her as she spun humming “Pop Goes the Weasel.” When she began singing, however, Allan realized she had rewritten the words:
All around the kingdom,
The waves slowly creeped
The people in the castle cried
“Save us from the deep!”
The unearthly song mesmerized Allan. He continued to watch the waves’ methodical destruction of the sand castle while Anna sang and danced. As the last rise of sand was razed, she came over and kissed him. He pulled her to the ground and held her fiercely, unable to feel close enough to her. She bit his lip suddenly, hard, the coppery taste of his blood mingled in the kiss.
Hours later, as dawn creased the sky, Anna broke the embrace and looked into Allan’s eyes. They were heavy with passion, and he was blinded to her unhallowed soul. Anna had never felt compassion or conscience in her actions. She kept Allan because she felt adored, and that amused her. She loved watching him watch her.
“Allan… would you do anything for me?”
“Anything you wish, my darling.”
“Would you die for me?”
“I would die without you.”
“Good.”
Anna reached into the bag she had brought with them to the beach. She pulled out a large knife and watched the growing sun gleam on the blade.
“Allan, you have a choice.”
“My darling, what are you doing?”
“You must choose to either die or watch me kill myself.”
“Anna… stop.”

“Choose, or I will kill myself.”
“Anna!”
“Too late.”
Anna sunk the blade into her abdomen, musing that it did not hurt as much as she thought. As she lay there, watching the shock and fear play on Allan’s face, she smiled. Her last vision was of him removing the knife from her and choosing to join her in the abyss. The morning tide enveloped them and carried them off to rest together, in the deep.

Personal Archive: The Questions Left Behind

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Here it is, dear readers. I told you before that I had been inspired to write a noir piece. This was my first attempt and it became a bit more noir-esque as I never really liked falling into the stereotypes of anything. So, I made it my own. It’s meant to be unfinished, and just give an intriguing taste of the characters and the story.

The prompts were “the photographer” and “the other view.”

Here’s Nika’s vlog explaining the original challenge:

Don’t forget to send in your prompts! I’ll be announcing the first official theme for Writing Out very soon!

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ANNOUNCEMENT!: Something Completely Different – Writing Out

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Writing OutA few years ago, I followed a web series meant to explore and spark the creative writers within. I’ve always loved writing, and this series helped me rediscover that love. Now, I’m far too impatient and easily distracted to sit and write an entire novel. Plus, I really enjoy leaving things unfinished, giving just a snippet and letting the reader draw his or her own conclusions on the stage I set. Therefore, these short little challenges worked great for me. Continue reading

Label Maker: Wonder

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BBEricaWonderThe more I explore these labels, the more I find different facets of my personality. This one has the balance of kind of always being there, yet I’ve never really thought much about it. The word, “wonder,” has such an exquisite meaning. It feels full and beautiful, and altogether inspiring. None of that ever really felt like me, but it is exactly me.

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